It was kind of strange, sat here with Liam, but something felt different. I mean, Alex was the first boy who I had dated seriously, but of course there had been things before that, just nothing too, well serious, so I didn’t really know what was supposed to happen now, were me and Alex officially broken up now, or did that only come after I’d spoken with him and told him to his face? I don’t know. It doesn’t really seem right being here with Liam, even though Alex didn’t seem to give a damn what he did with people, regardless of whether he was supposed to be with someone else at the time!
But despite all of that, and all of the reasons that I should, I didn’t want to leave. I’d not often spoken with Liam, but whenever I had it always seemed to go well, I mean it was kind of amazing that we mananged to get on so well when really, we hardly knew each other. I guess that’s what happens sometimes. We both make music and YouTube videos, so that in itself gives us quite a bit to talk about, and there was a lot of drama going on with me tonight, and according to Liam, he knew exactly what I was going through, so we definitely had a lot of things we could talk about. But we didn’t really. We didn’t talk about all of the things people would expect, we just talked. About random things, the things we loved and hated, the things we missed most from when we were kids, and just anything that didn’t make us think about all the stress and drama that was going on in our lives at the moment, and that was just as amazing.
I hadn’t intended anything to happen, I’d just gone out with him to have a nice little chat, I mean, I needed someone who I could talk to at the moment, I needed to get away from all the things at the party, and in reality, I didn’t want to be sat at home crying my eyes out tonight all alone with a giant bar of chocolate. I ended up going back to a hotel with Liam that night, I know that it sounds really dodgy when I say it like that, but it really wasn’t anything suspicious, I just didn’t think I could manage being on my own tonight, and Liam said he didn’t feel comfortable staying at Alex’s tonight after what happened, and he didn’t know his way around London properly either, so I had help him find a hotel either way, so it just made sense this way, especially as it would take me an hour to get back to my house anyway.
We managed to find a cheap hotel that seemed relatively nice, got a twin room, and carried what little we had with us up the stairs. I was kind of looking forward to tonight, it would be nice to get to know Liam better, it really would. I really hadn’t intended for anything to happen, I hadn’t gone to this hotel with the intention of doing anything but talking to Liam and keeping him company for the night. But I guess, one thing lead to another as the song always goes, and it ended up escalating rather quickly. I woke up in the morning lying next to Liam. At some point we’d pushed the bed together in the night, and our clothes lay abandoned on the floor.
I immediately felt guilty that I had let any of this happen, I hadn’t even spoken to Alex properly yet about this whole situation. I knew I didn’t want to be him anymore,, not just because of what had happened with Tom or what had happened with Liam, but because that kind of showed that we weren’t right for each other. I knew I would have to talk to him later, and that I would carry on feeling guilty about what had happened last night, but I couldn’t really bring myself to regret it. Maybe it should have waited a little while, but I think it would have happened either way. I will sort everything out later on, but right now, I just wanted to appreciate the moment, and snuggled closer to Liam, who was still asleep on the bed.